


Canterlot's Discord Cacaphony

by thinkingstar



Category: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
Genre: Friendship, Gen, High School, Non-Chronological, Pranking, Pranks, Teenagers, canon need not apply, teenage delinquency
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 00:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3916396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkingstar/pseuds/thinkingstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discord, Luna and Celestia... as teenagers. Visit their high school years at Canterlot High. Best friends (kind of!) Pranks (evil!) Assemblies (boring!) Discord is a teenage delinquent, Celestia is student body president and Luna is brand new at a school where she had to compete with her sister... or does she? The stories are fairly short and typically focus on Discord. Likely to be forever incomplete and many stories within will be continued randomly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Winter Break

**Author's Note:**

> This Discord has a tumblr! 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/canterlotsdiscordcacophony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discord pulls pranks during winter break. Because the school is empty... well, it should be.

There were no clouds in the sky and the sun shone brightly on the snow piled up in the pristine parking lot of Canterlot High. The middle of winter break made it obvious that no one had entered the school recently. But anyone who bothered to get close to the window would have heard an impossible sound, quiet snickering that trailed from window to window on the second floor.

“There, and there and… there!” Discord counted all the half-full cups of water with his fingertips, careful not to disturb their balance on the band room doors. “Nothing better than soaking wet musicians,” he grinned as he strode to the window and popped out.

His toes barely fit on the ledge beneath the window, but a strong grasp on the frame let him edge his way to the next set of panes. Painstakingly, he inched frozen fingertips under the outside of the window and shimmied it up enough to slide a lockpick in. Twist, twist, twist, pop! And he pushed it open just enough to slide in, all thin lines and a thin jacket against the cold.

In the darkness he was not a very striking figure. Standing over 6’ but made of skin and bones, there were no illusions of Discord as an athlete. His clothing was bright, all neons and denim, and the lights flickered on when he flipped the switch with a nicotine-stained finger.

Quiet pervaded the school at times like this. No studnets, no teachers, no mascots, no teams. Just Discord in a locked room, balancing cups of water on the inside of doors to prove that the impossible was the only possibility. These were his moments. School was order and rules and instructions. And Discord lived for those moment of chaos when he could break everything apart.

The last door in the science room was a little taller than the others and even he had to stretch to reach. Spilling the water just wouldn’t do; it would dry before anyone else came back. And that was just a waste. He smiled to himself as he balanced on the toes of his ratty doc martens to nudge it into place.

Footsteps from the hallway jerked Discord from his reverie. The cup tilted and spilled, soaking him from head to toe in freezing water.

One incoherent and quickly silenced shriek later and he was huddled next to the door, barely resisting the urge to look out the little window. Those footsteps felt like the foreshadowing in a horror film and Discord had no plans on being the star of one. The villain, sure. But not the hero or the victim. Those were the parts he had meant for his fellow students and teachers. Especially that student leader Celestia.

But the footsteps kept coming closer as Discord screwed his eyes shut. This was the disaster he’d been waiting for. Each year, he’d snuck in and created a different kind of chaos. Freshman year had been the shaving creaming filled lockers, followed by a sophomore year of skunk smell bundles hidden in the air vents. Junior year had been unexpected, the first year of the second floor, and the greased patches had taken half a day to trip anyone, but had also taken nearly a month to clean off and sent teachers and students flying into February. This was his senior year, his triumph, dozens of little pranks hidden in every room that would take months to find and even longer to actually disarm.

Now the time had come. Getting caught had never had such high stakes before. This was a disaster! There as no way he could get caught, get removed and still sneak back with enough time to place all the pranks before winter break ended. The few days he would detained, watched more closely, would be disastrous to his plans. It just couldn’t be! Failing after four years of success… no. Unacceptable. Beyond unacceptable. Absolutely unforgivable.

A few more steps and the creak of a door down the hall were followed quickly by silence. All Discord could hear was the pounding of his heart. What was one of the teachers doing here? There was no reason for them to come during winter break. Years before had made that clear. But the sound of the door was unmistakable. There was only one office on the science floor and only one professor who would come in during the break to do… whatever it was teachers did. Discord had certainly never paid attention to that.

But Professor Starswirled was bad news. He taught advanced classes, chemistry and biology and geology, all the courses that Discord only considered in his worst nightmares. Everyone knew that getting Starswirled meant twice the work and half the grade. Even Celestia, the perfect student, hadn’t managed an A in his class. Although seeing her name off the perfect 4.0 roster had been refreshing, it wasn’t a comforting thought. Who else would come into the school in the middle of vacation?

Peering through the door’s tiny window, Discord confirmed his own worst fears when the other door creaked open again. There was no mistaking that gray beard that nearly hit his belly or the traditional star-patterned tie that introduced his gut to the hallway. Diving back into the laboratory and scrambling to the window, Discord


	2. Pranked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discord is an endless supply of pranks and Luna follows along

“Celestia!” Discord spat the name like the vilest of curses as he looked down at the crowds of milling students. Another assembly, another speech by the student council president, another force interlude of cheering and praise for the great and wonderful Celestia. What was so great about her, again? There was nothing great about being perfect. And that’s all Celestia was, perfect. At least, she was perfect to teachers and the principal and to the kind of students who sucked up to all the authority figures in the hopes of improving their grades.

“What are you going to do?” Luna asked him, nudging closer. The opposite of her sister, the freshman had taken a shining to Discord the first time she’d seen him give a raspberry to Celestia’s back, followed by a spittle-filled one to her face. That’d been back in elementary school and by the time she’d entered high school he was one of her heroes. “I mean, what are we going to do?”

“What I always do,” Discord replied as he shifted and stood on the half-wall he’d been sitting on and peered down at her. “Make everything more interesting.” His laugh echoed in the stairwell, though it barely filtered out and no one turned their heads to check or even spare a glance for him. “C’mon,” he grabbed her wrist. “We need to get in before they close the doors.”

A heartbeat later, and then some, they were squeezed in among the mob of students. Discord stood out through sheer height and Luna clung to the back of his shirt like a lost child as he danced his way through the crowd. Too thin for bulldozing, he had turned dodging, ducking and slipping into an art. Which was how they found themselves inside the gym before the door closed and how Discord tugged her under the bleachers.

“There,” he hissed, pointing to the other end of the bleachers and a small pile of what appeared to be rags, “that’s where we’re going.” His grin was infectious as he slid through the skeleton maze of metal supports that expanded when all the bleachers were pulled out and if Luna followed with slightly less grace, there was no one was to witness it.

The pile of rags turned out to be a pile of rags concealing a pile of water balloons. One close sniff turned Luna green and Discord’s chortling confused a few students on the bleachers. He held a finger to his lips, looking pointedly at Luna.

“Skunk spray,” he explained in sotto voce as he lifted one of the spheres proudly. “I found it at some kind of hippie store.”

Luna didn’t need any more explanation as she grabbed a balloon in each hand and Discord followed suit, grinning like a fool as he edged to the end of the bleachers. They were almost touching the stage. Celestia is behind the curtain, though all they can see are her feet, and Discord is nearly shimmying was excitement as he hefts the balloons.

“Wait for my signal,” he instructs Luna, still whispering, though he doesn’t tell what the signal is and she doesn’t expect him to do so. Discord’s intructions rarely follow the logical procession that they should; Luna has learned to add her own discretion to the mix.


	3. Assembly: Incoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The assembly for incoming freshman... is the single most boring thing Luna has ever considered and now she has to go.

The first time Luna saw Discord was the first time she entered Canterlot High, hustled along the corridors along with the other incoming freshman. The welcome assembly, as her sister had so graciously explained to her, was a chance for new students to learn about their new school.

“What is there to learn?” Luna had asked over a pile of pamphlets Celestia had been sneaking into her room since she’d passed her first semester of eighth grade. “What is there left to learn?” she had demanded over Celestia’s listing of sports team and academic teams.

“There’s always something new to learn,” Celestia had explained primly and Luna threw herself on her bed and watched the pamphlets settle around her like giant snowflakes.

And now she was there, in the assembly room, all the freshman on the floor and the others sitting up in bleachers that seemed to go even higher from the angle she was stuck watching them from. And Celestia was on stage, droning on about the same things she’d been talking about at home for the past three months.

Out of the corner of her eye, though, she caught a different movement. Not someone shifting in their seat, not someone nudging their neighbor. But instead it was a half-shaved head of two tone hair and a hint of a strangely colored leather jacket. Luna shifted just enough to get a better view, peering over the head of a cream-haired classmate.

Another hint of movement and then she could see why he looked so different; he was standing beside the bleacher instead of sitting on it. A black Mohawk rose out of shaved white hair and flopped a little, gelled only hallway up. His skin was a peculiar shade of gray. She tried, and failed, to catch his eyes but saw mismatched pupils and mismatched irises in red and yellow. It was like looking at two portraits in one, at two faces at the same time and Luna was fascinated.

“And this incoming class will be one of the best, I am certain,” Celestia droned on from the stage, the first sophomore to be elected class president and glowing with that as she held the podium. “We have our faith in you and you will have our guidance.”

Her promises continued, unabated, as Discord crept closer to the stage and Luna leaned forward, barely resisting the urge to shift onto her knees and get a better view. No one else seemed to have noticed him, at least no more than any of the other shifting mass of students. Soon Luna can see him leaning his elbows on the stage.

The can of silly string seemed to explode across the stage, covering Celestial in brightly colored stands that stick to her hair, her face, her clothing and the podium. Three cans were emptied before someone grabbed Discord and the principal was raging as Celestia stared down at the delinquent with disdain written in the pull of her eyebrows and the pucker of her lips.

Luna was for from the only one still laughing as he was dragged out and Discord managed a bow with both his arms held behind his back. His smile was only a flash but the snaggletooth grin was enough to assured her that he knew exactly who she was.

Celestia made a valiant effort to continue her speech as two junior officers tried to clean her off and the principal called for quiet just as loudly as he could every time she paused. But no one was listening, least of all the incoming freshman who were standing and chatting and giggling and gathering the ends of the silly string hanging off the stage to decorate themselves with.

“You know?” Luna asked Celestia when their mother picked them up after school, both buckled into the back of the car. “I did learn something new at the assembly.”

“You did?” Celestia bubbled with a smile, “What did you learn?”

“Pink isn’t your color,” she smiled at the blank face her sister made and reached out, pulling a long strand of pink silly string out of her hair. “But green is.”

**Author's Note:**

> This Discord has a tumblr! 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/canterlotsdiscordcacophony


End file.
